Every Counter-Strike: Global Offensive match comes bundled with a possibility to encounter a terrible teammate who’ll only get in the way of winning. It’s only fair to return the favor, right? Don’t you agree? The CS.MONEY Blog is here to talk about the five best ways to annoy your teammate. It’s up to you to decide what to do with this info.
Unstoppable butcher
The beginning of each round is terribly boring. First, you stand for 15 seconds during the freeze time and just stare at the buy menu, then you spend another ten seconds rushing to face your opponent. This waiting can drive one crazy! You should do something to kill the time. For example, take out your knife and cut through the walls.
All the more reason to do so is the ability to drive the blade into your teammate’s back up to the hilt. It’s only fitting! They are the one who’s stupid enough to hinder the play and act like a slowpoke. Of course, if you repeat it too many times, you might get in trouble, but pulling this trick once or twice won’t bring you any harm. It’s fun for you — and pisses off your victim. Just the ticket if you want to annoy your teammate.
The dead see it all
Just like at the beginning of the round, you can quickly get bored after you perish. Waiting for your respawn is a long time, too, and teammates might not hurry up and play on into the bargain. It’s understandable: they don’t have enough intel or the right guidance. So fight the boredom and assume the role of IGL!
A nice bonus: you can feed that hateful teammate your thoughts coupled with possibly truthful information, so that they have a whale of a time as well. This works especially well in clutches, when players often get tunnel vision, whereas you can see the bigger picture and know where to go and what to do. Be sure to share those thoughts with your teammates.
Playing ahead of the curve
You know what distinguishes Counter-Strike: Global Offensive from, say, MOBA games? The importance of individual play. Even when playing solo, you can still make it through the rounds, especially if you’re the coolest guy on the server. In this situation, teammates often get in the way instead of helping. They’ll run underfoot, throw flashes inappropriately, or constantly yell about the C4…
Fortunately, you can use these dreadful teammates to your advantage. To this end, all you have to do is treat your team as bait. At the beginning of the round, suggest a plan: the team’s rushing B or throwing nades at mid. When everyone agrees, start your game! Ignore the plan and outflank the enemy. By doing so, you can play solo without those annoying bums.
Not my pace
Another popular mistake among annoying teammates is playing at a different pace. Sometimes, they’ll run when you’re shifting; sometimes, it’s the other way around. Sometimes, they’ll lunge with a flash too early, and at other times, they’ll advance when the enemy isn’t even blind anymore. All because they’re not playing at your pace.
You can turn their weakness around. If you see a teammate sneaking around in the middle of nowhere, just run right past them. You won’t even want to waste your breath on explaining these mistakes — they’ll understand right away that they should’ve switched to running before you came along. The same applies to utilities. So what if Counter-Strike: Global Offensive has chat notifications when a nade is thrown? The sooner these teammates get their eyes open, the better they’ll play in the future.
Telling the future
We’ve elaborated on a couple of good ways to piss off those obnoxious teammates. But sometimes, you don’t even have the energy to punish them. This is a fairly common situation. What can you do?
If you see in the very first round that the team can’t work together in a coordinated fashion, you suffer a humiliating defeat in the pistol round, and no one wants to play more carefully, remember: you can always play fast and have fun. Nothing’s easier than buying the MAC-10 or UMP-45 in every round, pressing W and dashing forward until you see the first foe. At least, defeat won’t be boring or annoying in this case.
Finally, if you’re feeling frustrated with the match, you can stand at the spawn area and start spinning around your axis. For this purpose, use the “+left” console command, without the quotes. Just type it in and go on with your daily errands. Thanks to the rotation, CS:GO won’t kick you out of the match, and you won’t get a matchmaking ban. On the other hand, you’ll be able to avoid stress by refusing to collaborate with mediocre players.
From time to time, we all end up on a team with horrendous teammates in competitive Counter-Strike: Global Offensive matches. Small wonder, since a competitive shooter where every error counts involves a lot of pressure for the player. In order not to turn into a toxic nub teacher, try to dilute the game experience with something new. For instance, you could play other game modes or try new maps.
Another thing that’ll help dilute the game’s mundane moments is skins. Because you see them on your screen every time you play, updating your inventory is a reasonable way to spice up the gameplay. Be sure to give it a try. You can get new items for your collection at CS.MONEY.
